I am meeting my long time friend and the only Asian auntie of my son, to go for a conference together in Naples (in pictures Vesuvius, Pompeii and harbor). We are always happy to share a room and breakfast and maybe toothpaste, but not the coffee. No. She’s that addicted she has 6 coffees a day ☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️
Anyways, i’m brushing my hair in the bathroom and it strikes me the difference between: her, *who’s a very mobile single-for-now self-made entrepreneur* and myself, *a very new domestic less mobile two-people-made mommy*. I had to read twice what i just wrote :))) i’m not deleting anything.
And while looking at her cosmetic sets i start the comparison, which then extends to other life aspects:
⁃ She’s having 3 lipsticks💄💄💄I have none. Since i am kissing my baby trillion times a day i must be grease/oil/SLS/Parabens/phthalates/color/perfume-free. So it simply didn’t cross my mind i should wear lipstick. Big mistake. We had to join a high-end dinner, i didn’t even had proper clothes and a lipstick would have been a great tool to boost my radiance. My mom advised: be charming. It worked. #momknows
⁃ She’s got the latest cosmetic products, while mine must be all expired by now for months. All i need is water 💦 and soap 🧼 and luckily my hair listens to me when i say: ‘stay flat!’ 👩
⁃ She’s having a full range of vitamin boxes for youth and stamina enhancement. I have few vitamins from my son’s remaining food in the plate. In fact our discussion went like this: ‘Why are you taking all these Omega 3/6/9 supplements instead of actually eating the exact fruits from the box labels? i’m asking’. ‘Oh girl, 1 pill has 7-8 fruits concentrated, she says.’ But you’ll never eat so many fruits in a day normally’. ‘Giiiiirl, you’ll not understand, they are great to my body, it’s so much to talk i’m not even starting’ she says 😂 #caseclosed 💊 In all fairness i’d use some energy boost.
⁃ She’s traveling with 23kg for 3 days, having even a steam-iron, a hair flat iron, and projector 😵 She admitted she needs a nanny 😂 I packed 3 shirts, 3 pants and toothpaste.
⁃ She carries 5 books 📚 with her, I haven’t had time to read a book page by page in ages and i found myself buying only parenting magazines and similar books 👪
⁃ In the mornings I’m ready in 10 min ⏰ she’s ready in 50 minutes. When the baby summons you, there’s no privileged second to squander on ‘oh i need 10 min of stretching’. Obviously she hasn’t been in the parents-military service.
⁃ Yoga mat. She carries a f&$@*^% yoga mat!!! 🧘♀️ I can’t even remember my hobbies let alone throw dozens of minutes in meditation and packing glam accessories 😰
⁃ I’m 100% present in the moment with my mind and body 🧠👂👁👀👃and actively aware of the environment because i always need to pay attention to my son not to fall, trip, put anything wrong in his mouth and i trained my mind to see the dangers 10 steps ahead. My friend is at times in her multiple mind universes trying to juggle topics in couple geographies at once so she misses on some real time details (non-critical, in her defense), like ‘i can’t recall where was the entrance of the building we went to yesterday’. Count on me sis!
⁃ She’s so anchored in latest news and trends i feel i was out of Earth for centuries. Luckily i’m a good listener 🙋♀️ and she loves to talk.
⁃ She can afford staying up until 1-2-3am in the night while I’m in bed at 10pm in a rush to turn off all the lights and seize all the sleep that i can 😴 Back at home i’m part of the Society of Sleep-Deprived Parents #businessasusual
We had such a good time and such a good laugh about all the differences. And she is definitely living the adventure of her life and her everything looks so glam and fab – one could easily envy her! 💃 Then my rational brain kicks in and makes me realize I’ve been there, checked all the boxes and i chose and planned consciously the mommy-family stage i’m in right now. There’s no place for regrets and no competition. I’m comfortable and i accepted the fact that there is a phase for everything while nothing is permanent – only being a mom is! And that’s the toughest ever ‘job’ in the universe, requiring great care, discipline and dedication. Everything else is manageable and will come at the right time 🤩 🙏